Freedom From Religious Persecution

(c) Darrell Godliman - Flickr

The United States was originally founded because the first immigrants from Europe were searching for freedom from religious persecution.  How fitting that today, hundreds of years later, their descendants are persecuting others based on that same religion.

As a gay man, I have limited rights in the country I was born despite the fact that the founding fathers declared America a land where “all men are created equal.”  Of course, as we all know, this doesn’t apply if you happen to love someone of the same sex.  Or so the religious extremists would have you believe.

While the scenery is changing and gradually improving for same-sex couples in America, there is still much work to do.  I will write another post with more details another day, however items such as immigration rights are among the most depressing rights denied to same-sex couples.  Heterosexual married couples are granted 1,138 rights and responsibilities nearly all of which are denied to same-sex coupoles who have gotten married in the few states which have passed full marriage equality as these marriages are severely crippled due to DOMA, a federal law which defines marriage as being between one man and one woman.  This backwards-thinking law denies almost all of the 1,138 rights and responsibilities regardless of whether you are legally married but happen to be same-sex.

For Justin and I, the largest issue is immigration rights.  Although we have been a committed couple for almost four and a half years and despite the fact that we have countless finances proving this and have co-signed on the purchase of a car, the rental of a house for over two years and have many friends and family who can clearly see the love we have for each other, I have zero rights to be able to keep Justin in this country.  The only way he can legally stay is if he happens to find an employer who would sponsor him for a visa and eventually a green-card.  This to me is a serious crime and a major slap in the face.  ”All men are created equal.”

Unless you’re gay – then you can be stepped on and constantly told, by those who previously nurtured and cared for you before they knew you were gay, that you are nothing and that you deserve no rights – that your love of someone of the same sex is a “choice.”  Yes, you are right.  I prefer to be treated as a second class citizen.  I prefer to have rights ripped from me daily.  I prefer to be turned away when doing something as simple as donating my blood to those in need.  I prefer to be constantly told by my state and my country that my love for another man is disgusting and despicable.  I prefer to be called a “faggot” when walking down the street with my boyfriend.    I prefer to be unable to keep the person I love in this country.

Shanghai – The First Few Days

Justin and I are a few days in on our China 2011 trip.  While this trip is the first for both of us to get to visit Shanghai, the main purpose of this trip is two-fold.  One, it has been three years since he was able to visit his family so it’s time to reconnect and visit with some of his friends.  Second, and pretty importantly, he is coming out to his mom and dad and by extension (and inevitable gossip) – the rest of his family.

Well, two days ago – the day after we arrived and the same day his mom arrived in Shanghai – he came out to his mom.  It actually went great and significantly better than it would have for most Chinese guys.  Typically the families are very set in their ways and would usually think about how it’s bad for the family’s face or possibly that they would not have anyone to take care of them when they’re older.  His mom however is very forward-thinking about was great with the news.  She asked tons of questions such as if I was what had turned him gay.  He re-assured her I wasn’t and that he had crushes on other guys long before he met me.

Since we are all an extended family now, we have roamed around Shanghai together and with various friends.  The pictures below are from the past few days and are a small selection of the places we have been.

Corey: Woodworker Extraordinaire

Recently, Corey went ahead and actually built himself a CNC router.  This is something that is amazing to me as it is a huge amount of work and takes a lot of great thought to get all the components and make them actually work together.  I don’t have any pics of the router itself, but it’s quite impressive.  A few weeks ago, Corey made me a beautiful pencil box out of a piece of mahogany that I had.  I think I’m going to keep it as-is as I think it looks great without anything else done to it.  View the pics below to see the quality he is able to produce with his CNC router.

2011 Christmas Cards

It’s coming up on that time of the year again to start preparing for Christmas.  This year will be especially busy as we will be going to China again.  It has been nearly three years since we’ve gone back and seen Justin’s family.  There is a lot of preparation work that goes into a trip of this scale along with time and money.

It’s good then that Shutterfly is making other parts of Christmas preparation easy for me.  I will be using them again this year for our yearly Christmas cards.  The first year we had used Kodak but used Shutterfly last year which I think was a better experience.  Last year we went with the design on the left.  While I was happy with the design, etc I was highly disappointed in how the pictures of Justin and I turned out but it’s my fault, not Shutterfly’s.  We had very bad lighting conditions and I hope that this year’s card is of a higher quality.  A few things helping in that area are that we know more now about how to use our Canon camera but also we now have a nice flash for it that should help.

Shutterfly has an almost overwhelming number of possible designs and layouts available, from their holiday cards to Christmas cards to standard photo Christmas cards.  While there is a very large number of cards available, it is quite nice to have such a range of choices and not have to do the same thing every year.

Last year Shutterfly sponsored my cards and supplied them for free which was quite nice.  This year they have taken it to the next step and supplied me with an extra promotional code for 25 free cards for my readers.  Post in the comments below what your favorite holiday memory is to win.  I’ll pick a winner at random on November 19 and contact you via email.

*Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by an offer from Shutterfly for 50 free holiday cards for bloggers.
*Contest Rules: Contest is open from October 25 2011 – November 18 2011 11:59PM.  One winner will be picked at random and will receive a coupon code for 25 free cards from Shutterfly.  Shipping/tax charges may apply.

Chick-Fil-A

After work today, Justin and I went to the College of Engineering 2011 Graduate Dinner.  I (of course) went as Justin’s spouse and you had your choice of either Chick-Fil-A or Jimmy Johns.  Why would I possibly pick Jimmy Johns when I could have me some delicious Chick-Fil-A?!

After eating we snagged ourselves a picture with the coolest cow in the land!

 

Molly, The Queen

Molly proves almost every day that she’s the queen and last week I was able to capture it in a small photo shoot.  I came home last week and found Molly sitting in the middle of a blanket which was in a ball in the middle of the bed – like she was on her throne.

Sparky: A Week Later

It’s been one week since Sparky’s biopsy and it’s been quite the week, sadly not for the best reasons.

Late Monday we got a call from Dr. Corriveau of the Purdue Small Animal Hospital with the results of his biopsy.  Unfortunately Sparky was diagnosed with squamous-cell carcinoma.  While the best course of action is to get into surgery to remove it, this requires very expensive imaging to determine if the cancer has spread and to determine the margin of the cancer.  After that would be the surgery which would be even more expensive.  It would most likely require removing a few teeth as well.  Taking into consideration the huge cost which isn’t feasible at this time along with how we feel his quality-of-life would be degraded, we opted for the next-best possibility.  We started Sparky on chemotherapy.

Yesterday was his first dose of Piroxicam.  It’s typically used for somewhat different areas of cancer but is promising.  The best we can hope for is that it will maintain the current cancer and not allow it to grow.  In a few weeks we will go back for another check-up.

Here’s hoping that our good boy, Sparky, gets through this successfully.  He’s a great dog and it’s hard to even think about him having cancer.

Sparky’s First Procedure

Tomorrow, Sparky goes in for his first procedure.

This past weekend we noticed that he had a growth on the roof of his mouth by his teeth.  The vet isn’t sure what it is with their initial sample so tomorrow they’re going to sedate him and get a biopsy for a much more thorough analysis.

Hopefully the results come back benign!

Sparky Lounging

Recently Sparky has decided that he doesn’t really want to come in after we take him out sometimes.  So, what’s the easiest way to rebel against your parents?  By not doing anything of course!

Sparky now tends to just go outside like normal and do his ‘business’ but will occasionally just lay down in the front yard and stare at you as if saying ‘What, you want me to go inside?’

I did what any responsible dog owner would do.  I let him off of his leash, went inside and grabbed my camera and had a mini photo session.  The pic to the right along with the one above are the best although there were about 20 more pictures taken.

He’s quite the photogenic dog, Sparky is.

Independence Day, 2011

© Flickr user Cynthia.Lou

© Flickr user Cynthia.Lou

This year marks the first 4th of July for Sparky with us.  The past few years we would go watch fireworks either by Purdue West or drive to the top of one of the campus parking garages.  This year however we decided to just stay at home.  If we wanted to watch the fireworks, we could easily just look out our backdoor and probably see more than enough.

On Sunday night we started to notice a problem though.  When we were outside walking Sparky, he suddenly heard a firework and got very scared.  He tried to get back to the house as quickly as possible and I had to run after him to keep up.

Last night this got much worse once the fireworks started.  From about 6pm on he refused to ‘do’ anything when we did get him outside.  At one point, I had to pick him up and carry him outside at which point he just would get as close to me as possible while shaking uncontrollably.

This morning he was leery to go outside, but was OK once I started walking him.  Needless to say, fireworks are not something that Sparky is fond of.